Roller Derby Style — JDB Spring 2012

Here is my boutfit style highlight reel from this year so far.

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Photo credit Tom Gaylord

This picture best articulates what I feel when I am jamming while also showcasing my abstract art ensemble. Neat. Jamming is sweaty and hot and painful and at some points (probably) feels like being birthed–it takes forever and I just push so god damned much through stubborn pieces of flesh that don’t want to move out of my way and then, when it’s all over someone wants to hug me despite the fact that I’m wearing an exoskeleton of sweat.  Sounds like birthing to me.

I potentially gross you out to demonstrate the additional flavor you are missing simply viewing these pictures online.  Please do not leave my exoskeleton of sweat out of your imagination as you view the following pictures–I wear that with pride.  Thank you.

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Here I am jamming for the Slytherin* roller derby team.  Observe the mullet tutu — a whip belt in the front and a tulle party in the back. Go snakes!

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Photo credit Tom Gaylord

After party style is a must.  Fascinators are an attractive way to inconspicuously hide helmet hair in a conspicuous manner.  I wear my sunglasses at night… because they protect my pansy eyeballs from the wind.

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There are only so many hotpants one rollergirl can own, even when she lives with the creator of Chaos Couture, Ms. Little Red Lily herself.   Quantity is not the issue so much as what you do with the shorts you have.  As you may have noticed, these hotpants are the very same as those of the first picture but presented in a completely different way.  Stockings, leggings, knee highs, leg warmers and any other tight leg paraphernalia are going to make all the difference.

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Curtsy.

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And the most important part of having roller derby style?  Having an awesome name that fits you nice and snug.

P.s. Those of you that know me outside of the box of pixels might wonder why I haven’t included the staple of my Spring 2012 style, the butt cape.  Don’t worry…. it’s coming.

*In reality I played a game with (and against) my leaguemates of the Jerzey Derby Brigade, but you will never be able to convince me I wasn’t on the Slytherin Team now that there are all these pictures of me in a green uniform with Slytherin socks.  So there.

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